Once I was at university, we held a belief I’m only a little ashamed of now: that casual hookups are intrinsically disempowering and demeaning for females.
It absolutely was a belief echoed by numerous conservative commentators whoever publications and articles We eagerly read, experiencing which they affirmed my very own emotions and experiences.
Searching straight back onto it, however, i could understand just why we thought that: we thought that casual sex ended up being degrading because I had experienced degraded each and every time I’d it.
But I felt degraded wasn’t because casual sex is inherently degrading as I later realized, the reason. It absolutely was because my hookup lovers had addressed me personally as a item, like an effective way to a finish. They didn’t care about my pleasure, they ignored and disrespected me personally afterwards, plus they had been frequently pushy and coercive.